#1- If they grew up observant and rejected Judaism, they may not be counted. However, if they were raised without a proper Jewish education but they believe in Hashem, then they are considered a tinok sh'nishba, a child who was kidnapped and raised by non-Jews, and may in cases of necessity be counted, although it is preferable not to.
#2- They may be given an aliya, however extra aliyos should be added so they do not count towards the required 7. It is even better to give them other honors such as opening the Aron HaKodesh.
#3- He may be given an aliya on the assumption that he married her out of personal attraction and not out of malicious intent to rebel against Hashem.